Too Random

Seems like you are really letting go of me. .Just like what I wanted- we let go and set our feelings free. .
And maybe someday, we'll meet halfway. .But how about the what ifs? My what if's?
Maybe, Im just afraid that I will lose you along the way. You will just get tired and think that maybe its time to let go. . If I can only let you know, that Im still holding back. .That Im very willing to hold back. .

Im sorry, if i wasn't able to fight for you. .A damn coward as you think. .Never a risk taker. Im so sorry. .
When I visit your wall in Facebook and was able to read to your status. I was hurt, knowing that your already tired of waiting. . Its my fault though. .

Maybe, this is just the way it is. .And the way it should really be. .

Random.

Anyone can give up, its the easiest thing in the world to do.
But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. . 

Because, I never did that to you. .I dont hold on. .
Is it right if i say my sorry?

Hate It!

I hate being the one who has to wait.
I hate being the one who's always expecting  that there is something great to happen.
I hate that i always assume.

One Day.

One day, you’re going to want that girl. The girl that knew she wasn’t perfect but tried to be perfect for you. The girl that believed the scraps of you she was given were worth it because something was better than nothing. The girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws but values them as much as your strengths. The girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. The girl who saw past your pretty eyes and treasured parts of you that nobody else has ever appreciated. The girl who realizes she may never have your heart but will carry the image of you in hers forever. The girl that sees this and still loves you. That girl should have you, but doesn’t.
We’ve been together for years.But i know you never loved me. Their is just something in your eyes that is unexplainable. And i ought to believe that their is someone you wanted and unfortunately its not me. I can see it in your eyes. .So i choose this path for you to realize and weigh things. I miss you. And missing you is worth the feeling. Till we meet again. Now i can say I let you go.I let my feelings fall into its right places. Now,im so much better. Choosing this path is the most happiest stop overs in my journey. And i know this journey will not just make me happy but as well to realize things that are never meant to happen.
Lastly,till we meet again.

past.finals.past.move on.

The rush is over. Final assignments. Final projects. Final presentation. Final exams. They are all now but just a glimpse of the past. Bo0o0o to finals!Sickness!A no sleep rule and so much hagardness (the word doesnt exist). I am now off as a third year irregular college student,as always. I am happy somehow. I am sad somehow. WTF! I wanna go home. But theirs something in me that says 'dont go home yet'. I am missing home so much. Oh well, I know they are missing me too. So help me God. So hard to decide.

Happiness!where are you? To be loved in return!where are you?

Just because i try not to talk about it. Doesnt mean im okay or im over it. That i feel better or that im ever going to be fine again:( Because there is always one face that i cant look at without emotion. Only one name that i hear, without old feelings returning. And just when i think I had moved on, i always remember the reasons why hold on this feelings for so long.

We are miles away now moffo!But why?? I wish their is also finals in this emotion of mine and will also remain as a glimpse of the past!

In tears:(

Getting There:)

I dunno if this decision is for good or not. I cant seem to see things clearly.How i wish i can see what is heading on to me. When i saw that bullshit profile pic of you in facebook?! Let me tell you but its just WTF thing in my sense. Cant you understand? Every time you add me i keep on ignoring that invitation of yours?Now, you added me again!Please!Its over!Cant you read between the lines?Or you are just too dumb to know about it?Im here,i already moved on. I keep on assuming that i have let you go,but you know whats the worst part?I realize that theirs no such thing as letting go. The scar and the memories remains. It will,but at least I had moved on. We are miles away. Its impossible for you not to move on. So cut the crap moffo!

I know theirs no closure really.I just left without even saying a word.You know why I did that?Coz' everytime i see that face of yours. My heart melts. My stupidity prolongs. The love that i gave you is too much and the hurts you gave is too much also. You keep on saying that you dont want to see me cry.You dont want to see me hurting. So tell me now, of all those things and the hurtings- you are just closing your eyes? Now, im trying to forgive and forget. I tried not to let my tears fall again. Im trying to be happy. Now that im gone, you just realize how important i am too you right? You wanted to give it a try again. But let me tell you, you have all the chances in the world when we are still together. When my martyrdom still existed. But you just throw it in a bin full of regrets.

One more kiss could be the best thing. But one more lie could be the worst. And all those thoughts are never resting. And you're not someone i deserve.

Adios!

A Girl Wants. . .

He would scream " iloveyou" down the halls not caring who heard him. He'd go on a walk with me in a 40 degree weather. Hot cocoa in one hand- my hand on his other. He'd sing out loud to any song not minding the people around. He'll let me look like crap wearing a big shirt and shorts and still calls me beautiful. He'd write me thousands of notes everyday at school. He'd come to my house at nine in the morning to wake me up on weekends. He'll take me to the park and push me on the swings. He wont be ashamed with my family around and acts like he's part of it. He'll argue with my friends that he love me more. He'll keep every single promise he makes and wont be scared to dance in front of me. He'll spend my birthday with me. He'd rent all the chick flicks he knows of and watch them with me inside when im sick. He pick his friends over me sometimes. He'll remember our anniversaries before i do. He'll call me at night, right before i go to bed. Just so he knows he's the last voice i hear. He'd push my hair away when its on my face. He carry my books at school even if he already has his own. He wears my favorite shirt of his every Monday.

A boy who won't ask me whats wrong when i look sad instead just kiss me on the forehead. He'll give me his sweat shirt even if he's freezing and make me not feel guilty about it. He'd never get jealous because he already knows i love him more than anything. And when he says forever, he means it no matter what:))